Divorce is often looked at as the end of an era, however, it’s also the beginning of a new one. Instead of laying around and moping about the past, it’s a time to re-evaluate the present and focus on the future.
While a divorce may not be a great time, it’s a time to learn to reflect on mistakes and refocus on what we need to work on within ourselves. As we do this, we tend to shift the focus from negative to positive.
Force yourself to take stock of what you do have and not think about what you don’t have. Stay positive and get out and make new friends.
Stay on a budget and redo the budget as you go so that you won’t be flat broke all of the time. It may take some cutting back here and there but with planning and determination, it’s helpful to evaluate your budget each and every month.
If you have kids, remember that they’re not at fault and be sure that you’re still allowing them to see the other parent. Don’t judge their time with the other parent just allow them their time and ask if they had a good time. This will help them to realize that it’s okay to have fun with the other parent.
Don’t say negative things to the kids regarding your ex. This will go far in helping you to maintain a positive atmosphere with your kids later on in life.
Your new life should include some fun for you as well. Make some new friends and get out with them every so often so that you’re not sitting around depressed. Be sure that you’re making positive friendships.
Don’t spend the time with your new friends dissing your ex, spend time enjoying yourselves and having fun. This will help you to release the past and enjoy your present and your future.
Remember, the pain and the sorrow will pass. It may seem forever right now, but you can work through it if you are determined. Don’t harbor resentments and anger. Release them, or they’ll eat you up.
Have a positive outlook and focus on how your life is going to get better now that you’re on your own. It may not seem like it, but it will. Make a gratitude list and when you’re stressed, depressed or upset, refer to that gratitude list.
Write out some positive things that you can do to help keep your mind off of your past and any depression that you may have. Consider self-help books or groups and remember that you’re going to be happier than ever as you walk through this pain.
A divorce doesn’t have to be a sad time, it can be a time of making things right in your life and focusing on what really matters. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in self-pity or the what-ifs of life. You’ve too much to live for and enjoy in life now. Get up and moving and have a great life.
If you read this article because you are thinking about getting a divorce, we recommend you also read the following page to assist you with making this big decision: Representing Yourself in the Divorce Process.